Loving (1981) by Steel Danielle

Author:Steel, Danielle [Steel, Danielle]
Format: mobi, epub
Published: 2010-12-12T15:07:55.062000+00:00

Chapter 25

"And how are you today, Bettina?" John Fields walked into her hospital room with a smile.

"Fine." She returned the smile. "Better. Much better." She had slept like a baby the night before, without the nightmares, the ghosts of old faces, without even a sleeping pill. She had put her head down on the pillow and fallen asleep. Life in the hospital was wonderfully simple. There were mommies and daddies in white uniforms who were there to take care of you, to keep all the bad dreams and bad people away, so you could relax. She hadn't felt this peaceful in a year. And as she thought it she looked up at the attractive young doctor sheepishly. "I shouldn't say it, but I wish I didn't have to leave."

"Why is that?" For only an instant a trace of worry crossed his smile. He had taken a lot on his shoulders, not bringing a psychiatrist in on the case. But he didn't really feel that she had deep-seated problems.

She was looking at him now with that childlike smile of hers and those devastating green eyes, which seemed to dance. She certainly didn't look like a crazy, but nevertheless he was going to keep an eye on her after she left.

She lay back again against her pillows, with a little sigh and a smile. "Why don't I want to leave here, Doctor? Oh, because"--the eyes drifted toward him--"because it's so easy and so simple. I don't have to look for an apartment, find a job, worry about money, go to the grocery store, cook for myself. I don't have to find a lawyer." She looked at him, smiling again. "I don't even have to wear makeup and get dressed." But she had bathed for half an hour and there was a white satin ribbon in the long auburn hair. He looked at her and returned her smile. She looked pretty and young and as though life were terribly simple; she looked more like twelve years old than twenty-six.

"I think you've just given me all the reasons why some people stay in mental institutions for years, or even all of their lives, Bettina." And then more quietly, "Is that what you have in mind for yourself? Is it really all that much trouble to get dressed or to go to the store?"

She was suddenly startled by what he had just told her, and she shook her head. "No ... no, of course not." And then she felt she had to explain to him. Just so he wouldn't really think her crazy after all. "I--I've been"--she looked for the right words as she watched him--"I've been under a lot of pressure for a long time." Jesus. Then maybe she did have a major problem. He wondered as he watched her, wondering also if he should send her home.

"What kind of pressure?" Quietly he pulled up a chair.

"Well"--she stared down at her hands for a long time--"I've been running houses, servants, kind of elaborate households for a lot of years.

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